Confession time: haven’t visited my blog for months because I was too scared to look at it. I’ve been feeling guilt and laziness and I was too much of a baby to face these feelings. I knew that as soon as I opened the page all of those emotions would start to come to me and I didn’t wanna deal with them. What do I write about? How do I start again? Why did I stop at the first place?
My last post was about my ankle injury. Naïvely I thought that it would heal in a few days. It didn’t. I was so blindsided by it that I totally lost track of my everyday life and with that I stopped writing too. The longer you go without posting the worst your self doubt gets. I was thinking to myself who am I without running and what do I have to say when I can’t run..
Here I am, about four months later typing these words. Ankle healed, moved to the other side of the world once again, ( Currently in Los Angeles, CA. see Just a little bit about myself.. ) started a new job, eating much less sugar as I used to and been thinking about my blog every single day yet didn’t act on it until Brené came along 🙂 I started reading @brenebrown ‘s The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. It gave the push what I needed to start writing. I’ve been craving creativity and she talks about the importance of creating in her book. As I was reading I kept thinking to myself “why am I not committed enough?” Perhaps because it is not that important to me after all? That’s not true.. it is very close to my heart and I wanna keep feeling that warm cozy feeling of creating. So I gave myself this challenge to post something today. It’s always that first step what’s the hardest. Lacing up your running shoes, putting your phone down and picking up a book.. start typing, stop questioning.
I have to admit that I haven’t been reading at all for a couple of months now. When my co-worker gave me Brené’s book last week I knew that I couldn’t hold on to it too long (someone might be a little worried about what other people think of them.. or I just simply don’t wanna be rude?) so I jumped into it right away. I couldn’t be happier that I did. I almost finished the book in four days and those light bulbs are just getting brighter and brighter in my brain 🙂 We all have the time to do what’s important for us we just tend to forget about it and making excuses is way easier for some reason.
I realize that this post is a little bit messy and rough around the edges but I needed to write it and share my thoughts.
Cheers to creating, reading, writing, cooking, working out and anything and everything what makes us happy! Who else can relate to my struggle? Have you ever left your blog alone for months and felt the shame?
I’m wearing @nikesportwear